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dandraco:

hollyoakhill:

do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared

All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.
The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.
And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life. (Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)
At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.

This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.

This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.
And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."
And then there is this:

Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.
And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.
And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.
TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.

dandraco:

hollyoakhill:

do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared

All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.

The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.

And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life.
(Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)

At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.

This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.

This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.

And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."

And then there is this:

Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.

And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.

And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.

TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.

(via ohsnapitsahomko)

Notes
62566
Posted
3 hours ago

bekstek:

mintike:

IM GOING TO STAB MYSELF IN THE FOOT I JUST SENT MY ENGLISH TEACHER MY ESSAY ON HAMLET AND IT WAS STILL NAMED “the fresh prince of denmark yo holla”

oh man, i love receiving unedited final drafts:

image

image

cracks me up every time

(via stop)

Notes
465764
Posted
3 hours ago
apple-picking-beam asked: here's the real question: would you reblog the wendy's cold drinks video for $1000?


Answer:

warpedlamp:

No amount of money would be worth defiling my blog with such trite.

Notes
8
Posted
3 hours ago
troyeboyxtilly:

youtubers-ugh:

halloween is soon 
its transparent

Drag it nowOr on mobile tap it

troyeboyxtilly:

youtubers-ugh:

halloween is soon 

its transparent

Drag it now
Or on mobile tap it

(via heliolisk)

Notes
89065
Posted
3 hours ago

mamabraun:

IS THIS CUTE ENOUGH FOR YOU, MOM???

(via themrcreepypasta)

Notes
2993
Posted
3 hours ago

Me, no matter what time it is. (via lastisle)

(via stop)

… its too early for this bullshit.

Notes
280099
Posted
3 hours ago

toon-link-1210:

Some of my favorite Wind Waker Manga pages.

(via warpedlamp)

Notes
6385
Posted
3 hours ago

kastiakbc:

veganvibez:

found the best twitter 

I was angry until i read the tweets

(via haileybookky)

Notes
107452
Posted
3 hours ago

rainbowreverie21:

chickenyaoi:

America is some fucked up dystopian shit honestly like how are y’all even surviving? Paying for healthcare? $60,000 on tuition? POC getting shot in Wal-Marts? White men shooting up elementary schools? That’s terrifying I’m worried about all of you

America doesn’t seem that terribly horrible when you live here day to day and you’ve known nothing else but when somebody says something like this it fucks you up really good.

(via gaimez)

Notes
202683
Posted
3 hours ago
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